The New 10 Commandments
by Tony Thompson
Due to new government regulations these will run slightly longer than the original 10 Commandments.
1. The Government, thy Lard Thy Got, shall receive of you that which it asks and will provide to you that which it chooses.
2. Never question if what thy Lard asks of you is too much because it is never too much. Thy Lard is wise and asks only of you what you can stand. The Lard Thy Got would never ask more than you could give if you would just open your heart and wallet to the will of thy Lard.
3. The Lard thy Got owns all lands of the United States of America. These lands will be leased at fees set by thy Lard. These fees shall be called property taxes.
4. Because of the need to further the power of the Lard, thy Lard shall give special attention and favor to selected flocks. Members of these flocks are commanded to repay thy Government with much adoration and praise for they are the Chosen Ones. Block voting and campaign contributions are suggested alms for thy Lard's goodwill.
5. Members of the non-Chosen flocks are commanded to treat the Chosen Ones with special care so as to avoid the wrath of thy Lard and plagues of lawsuits by swarms of Chosen Ones.
6. The Lard Thy Got shall allow a two party system to give the multitudes a choice of which government programs they wish to see enlarged.
7. The two party system shall be protected at all costs and The Lard Thy Got shall not allow any party who threatens the power of the Lard to fully participate in the election process.
8. The Lard Thy Got shall not be constrained by any Constitution or Bill of Rights if it violates the growth of the Lard. The Lard Thy Got shall interpret the Constitution to mean anything thy Lard deems is in the best interest of thy Lard and thy Lard's Chosen ones.
9. The Lard Thy Got is supreme and shall forever rule over the multitudes with the help of the FBI, ATF, IRS, DOE, CIA and other servants of the Lard.
10. Never challenge the power of the Lard for the Lard is a jealous Lard, and will not tolerate any who doubt the right and might of the Lard thy Got. Those who challenge the Lard will receive unfriendly visits by servants of the Lard.
